Dear May,
I tried not to update my blog already. I tried to work properly. I tried to not think about you. I tried to think about my parents when I was thinking about you. But I just coudn’t afford to do that. You are still always in my heart. I still cannot give up on you. If I do not write something to release my inner pain, I have no way to control myself.

I have stopped smoking already, although I still got a pack of Kent Neo. You’ll never know how hard for me to stop it. I threw away my lighter but eventually, it caused me to get a box of matches. Even myself cannot imagine that I will become this type of person. I used to hate smoking people last time.. But now I know why people love to smoke already. But as what I said, I stop smoking, since tomorrow will be one month broke up anniversary.

I started to pray. i never know I will start to pray like this. I am a christian but I know all the while I do not practicing Christianity lifestyle. I started to pray for my parent, my brother, my friends R, D, CY and ED. Finally I prayed for you also - prayed for your health and happiness. I never think I’m going to pray for you before this, but the real thing is, I do. I must admit that I may abuse the power of pray because I only prayed for you after breaking up with u. I prayed to get you back, to make you dump your bf. When I was praying, I know that was incorrect way to pray with devilish motive behind, but I still couldn’t control. Fortunately, just now I was able to conduct a good pray. Maybe really, time really can heal people......