Dear May,
Today is the day I write my blog back. I need a place to release my pain. I don care you will see my blog or when you will see my blog or wat. I also don care got people see my blog or not. Actually I also hope no people will see my blog. At least not the one I know. I just want to write something for apologize? for release stress? or whatever la.
When I see you upload your photo that take with your bf, I just cannot control myself and say something rude to you. I need to apologize to you. Maybe what you do is rite, that really let me die my heart. I really don put any hope on you already. Maybe that what your action's mean....
Actually I got think about jump down from my office just now. 18th floor should be can let me die without a lot of pain. Luckly my sit not really near the window, else I don know what will happen. Actually I don want to let a lot of people know I lost you. But I lazy to pretend. I lost control in my office and really scared my coli and my master. I have been rude to my master. I am sorry for that. I try to find someone to chat but my coli, B and K all have their date. Actually I also know I cannot keep count on them because they also got their life. But that time I just hope got people can chat with me. Finally I get my high school friend ED to help me. I really happy I still got him...
When he know my situation, he just call my another high school friend R to help console me. I know you sure know who is R. I never know they can help me so much. I really though we just can play, laugh and entertain but cannot share this kind of things. but the truth is they can. I am glad that I have them as my friends...
ED and I stay a nite at R place. Although they keep on console me but actually not much help. The funny thing is R place at 20 floor and got a window that cannot be close. Last time we got kidding about this window really can let people jump down 1. When they start fall on sleep, I stand at the window there for long time. I keep on refuse myself to jump down but I really need to say, I got a strong desire want to jump from there, especially my mind keep on thinking about the photo. At this moment, B help me overcome this. She msg me and care about my feel. I really need to agree, gal's console is different from buddy's one. Maybe I really a bad guy la. Think that gal is important than friends. haha....
B, thank for your msg. If not you sms me for 1 nite, I really don know where am I now. I just can keep your help in my heart and just want to let you know, I own you. You let my parent still have a son... Maybe you will feel funny but I really mean that.