Dear May,
I can’t sleep again. I truly understand that Sat and Sun will be a hard time for me but I never expect it’s that kind of tough where I cannot stand it anymore. I just keep on thinking that you may have a whole nite free on sat nite and whole day free on sun, which may cause you to have a date with him. Where have u been? How you pass the time with him? What will you do when you go out with him? I cannot control my mind to think about it. I just cannot control.
I do not want to stay at R there anymore and insist going back to wangsa at noon. I know I cannot keep bothering people. I need to solve it by myself. So I just tell myself, if I really want to think about you and you are doing now, then just keep thinking la. If I cannot pretend nothing happen, then I just don pretend la. If I want to cry, just cry. Those are the reasons I want to back to my place and stay alone. At least no one can c me when I am crying.
Outside keep raining again. I just cannot hold myself to think about that time I sent you back in heavy rain evening. We had a quarrel that time. Then when I sent you back, I rushed out at rain to get an umbrella for you. I know at that moment you get touched and finally, it helped to solve our quarrel problem. I really hope now I can redo that again. I just want you to know I can do anything for you to get you back. I know most of our quarrel originates from my fault. I just keep thinking about other people's ideas and always think that other people's gf is better. I know my fault already. When something nice is already on my side, I just keep on thinking there will be something better again. I am sorry that I always blame you cannot cook or thinking about you not a christian.... people's view always make me don really understand how good are you. I am regretted and sorry for that.