Dear May,
I thought I alraedy can don update this blog. but finally I cant. Actually at first I see your msn title put blank, I start feel happy because I thought maybe you have somethings happen between you and your bf. but finally no. I see your friendster again and find that you have a nice weekend again. You come to KL here. even in front of my company and take photo. I try to avoid go to the place that you show off your happniess but now you even come to my office area, is this mean I need to change company?

“什么叫专一，专一就是在一个时间只爱上一个人，而不是还傻傻的等待一个已不爱你的人。”

Dear May,
This first thing I do today is check the friendster. I want to know where you been and what you do last week. Finally I get the answer. U go to Tian Hao Temple and look like very happy. I ask all my coli and want to know what is the main purpose of go to Tian Hao Temple. Luckly a lot of my budha friends say there is no certain purposes. Actually I am really scare about that they will say about is aim for love or marriage.

Then I ask myself. If you say want to go with me, I will go with you or not. Finally, my answer is yes. But what for? I need you ask and say it out and is already lose the meaning.

I go and think about religion again. I am a christian, maybe I not so sincere but I still know that I am belong to christian 1. Am I will follow you go temple? I totally understand I will not go last time but now I think I will. Look like I change already. Look like you really is the important person in my life...... I try to give up you this few day but now, I still writing to you......

Dear May,
Finally you online today. I believe you take leave yesterday. I believe you go somewhere with your bf. Where he bring you? what you 2 do? I try to login friendster and hope i can get some sign from it. But you never upload some photo or wat to let me have sign. I hate this type of feel. i want to know where you go, what you do. Maybe I will hurt, but at least I know where you been or what you do.

I really don know what I want now, I hope you don upload, but I oso hope u upload. Dilemna. I already don know who am I already.

女人没有就算了，如果还没有钱，那怎么可以？生活没有意思， 我不过是想找一些理由来继续活下来。找一些生活的含义。我不过是想找人来爱，找一个人来爱我.

Dear May,
Y you don online today? you block me? You MC today? You take leave today? Your company network down? Y you don update your friendster? Where you go yesterday? What you do yesterday? He treat you not good? Anything I can help?

Where can I get those questions' answer????????

Dear May,
Today whole day I go to forum and chit chat. I express my feel there. I tell them about you, tell them I want to forgot you. But actually when I chat with them, I still thinking about you. Thinking about where you going today, what you will do today. I tell all the forum people I want to start a new relationship. I don know I can forgot you or not but I know if I start a new relationship, I can use the time or energy that i use to miss you, to miss another gal. i don know it work or not. In the forum a lot of people attack me say that my action is not correct. I also know is not correct but I feel I need someone to rescue me from you. But when they really intro me some gals, I feel is very hard to start. I still thinking about you......

Maybe now is the God's punishment to me because I treat you so bad.....

世上最难的事情不是爱或恨一个人，而是忘掉一个你爱或恨的人。

Dear May,

Why the time cannot be returned? Why the time machine only exist in movie or story? Why I cannot have a friend like Doremon?

If can give me the chance to get back the time line, I even can deduct my life for exhange.

思念

曾经独自暗恋的思念是苦的；
没有希望的思念是酸酸的；
回味的思念是甜蜜的；
酸或苦又带甜的不协调思念慢慢造就麻木没有味道的思念；
没有味道的思念造就了不明不白的思念。。。

This Story Delight Me.

一只公寄居蟹找到了一只很大的空貝殼，便把貝殼清理乾淨，做成了自己的房子。 有了房子的公寄居蟹很快找到了一只母寄居蟹，他們快樂地生活在這個大房子裡。

每天他們出門，母寄居蟹就自由快樂地遨游，覓食，而公寄居蟹背著沉重的房子艱難 地跟在母寄居蟹身後。 母寄居蟹游一段路就要停下來等公蟹。

這樣的生活過了沒多久，有一天母寄居蟹跟著一只無拘無束的龍蝦一起游走了，再也 沒有回來，而公寄居蟹無法丟下他沉重的房子，只能眼睜睜地看著母寄居蟹游遠、游 遠、游遠，漸 漸消失，不見……

這個故事告訴我們：如果你有一所房子，那你泡妞的難度將降低。 這個故事還告訴我們：如果你的房子成為了你的重負，那麼你以後的生活將變得痛苦 不堪。 所以在決定是否分期買房的時候請先衡量一下得與失。

因为期待， 所以失望

因为期待， 所以失望
失望， 有时候也是一种幸福…
因为有所期待， 所以才会失望…
因为有爱， 才会有期待…
所以纵使失望， 也是一种幸福…
虽然这种幸福有点痛…
不… 是很痛…

Dear May,
I went to watch Iron Man just now. It is a good movie. But at the middle of movie, I miss you again. Is that mean next time I cannot watch movie already if I did not want to think about you? I don know.

I know you like this kind of movie. Actually before we break up I already promise myself want to watch this movie with you. But now, end up I watch will my coli, you will, or you already watch with your bf. I don know. When end of movie, I try to look around and think about silly thing like whether you will watch this movie with me or not although maybe we not sit together. I know that really silly, you sure are giving tuition la. But I just cannot control my head to turn around and see.

I suddenly want to find someone. Of coz, R is my best choice, and only choice. Usually friday nite I will try to date you after 10pm then we go "jian don" have a meet if I work late or doing something. "Jian don", a place that have so much memories and the place you broke up with me. I really hope I can date you go there again but now I cant. I already lose the chance. I hate myself. that time I really want to drive to your house and ask you out. Luckly my coli call for have a drink, else I will do some silly things again.
Somethings happen in the middle so finally only T have a drink with me. Here drink mean "yam cha" but not wine or beer. I try to stop drink wine or beer. I used to be the great drinker in my team but now I feel I cannot let this continue again. Drink maybe can let me forget you for a while but end up with more memories of you and me. haiz......

May, I really miss you. I miss you.

爱

爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈；
爱是不嫉妒，爱是不自夸，不张狂，不做害羞的事，
不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人家的恶，不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理；
凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。
爱是永不止息。

如果你爱的人放弃了你，请放开自己，好让自己有机会爱别人.
有的东西你再喜欢也不会属於你的，有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的。
不是谁离开了谁就无法生活，遗忘让我们坚强。
遗忘就是我们给彼此最好的纪念。

Dear May,
I have 2 friends that also not yet recover from their relationship. I saw their msn title all put "Waiting" in English or Japanese. If I saw those messages last time, I will ignore them. But now I totally understand their feel. I don know I will become one of them or not, keep on waiting you back or I will find another one later. But from their life I know that, waiting is torture but they just cannot control their selves. They cannot accept new relationship but keep on thinking about old relationship. I don know when they can stand up and accept a new relationship but I know that’s very hard. I can predict myself from them.

So I start ask my friends to introduce new girls to me, start online look for net love or what, just want to recover from your hurt since you call him as husband already. Just 1 month time can make your heart totally changed. I really cannot expect that. I do not want myself to keep waiting for you. I want to wake up; I want to be the top in the future. I cannot stop my foot here. I don want to update my blog by writing letter to you. That’s what I tell myself this morning. But now, I still keep on thinking about you. Maybe I really will become my friends’ style? Pretend nothing happen for whole life but cannot accept new relationship? Just stubborn and feel that you are the best and let other better go? I don know. I already bore about those consoles, counseling or what. If really that easy recover from this pain, them this world will not have that much romantic or sad poem or song. But 1 thing is correct, I need to be more hardworking. Only if I success then only next time I can chase you back and give you a better life……

Haiz, today is holiday. Where you go with your bf? Tomorrow you will update your Friendster or msn picture again? Can I control myself not to view your Friendster and msn?

没有爱情，没有问题???

没有爱情，没有问题???
所以，如果要没有问题，就要没有爱情。如果爱情都没有的话，当然也没有问题了...
这个就是说，为了避免我们陷入爱情的问题里，所以我们都应该不要去开始爱情...
如果恋爱是苦多过乐的，倒不如自己一个人更自在?
可是，另外一个问题又来了。到底我可以做到吗? 我可以慧剑斩情丝吗？我又开始想她了....
何时我可以慧剑斩情丝?何时我可以放开?