高兴和悲伤的分享

成为花花公子的十大条件

2010-01-30T13:05:00.001+08:00

　　第一条：不管在任何地点、任何时间，如果有漂亮的女生，必须马上前去大献殷勤，倾吐爱慕之心，务必要问到小姐芳名、电话号码、工作单位之类的基本信息。不得有担心害怕会被该女生旁边双目竖瞪、膀大腰粗之男友痛K一顿之行为！

　　第二条：不管是大眼睛小燕子还是麦当劳里“欢迎光临”的小妹，只要自己看上了，必须呕心沥血写去无比肉麻直至打动芳心的万封情书，不得有心动不行动或则害羞胆怯、担心别人说自己癞蛤蟆想吃天鹅肉之行为！

　　第三条：不管是衬衣或则西装领口、袖口，不能让MM看见黑渍，不得有三天不换衬衣袜子、十天不愿洗澡之行为，必须保持“象刚剥壳之熟鸡蛋”、西装革履之干净潇洒形象，不得有当面掏耳朵、挖鼻孔、全身泛酸味令MM恶心之行为！

　　第四条：不管是唐诗三百首、琼瑶三毛之无聊小说、周星痴之无厘头电影，还是《傲慢与偏见》《红楼梦》等自称是经典的东西，必须烂熟于胸，还必须上知天文、下知地理，还要满口网络、后现代等新名词，不得有一问三不知，被人贬之为绣花枕头一包糠、中看不中用、土包子之行为！

　　第五条：不管是陪女友看电影、上餐馆，还是逛商场买东西，必须随叫随到、跑前跑后，抢先付钱以讨芳心。不得有丝毫“陪女人逛街好无聊”之想法，更不得有无精打采、垂头丧气、小里小气毫不大方之行为！

　　第六条：不管现任女友有多漂亮，对你再温柔再体贴，需知天外有天、人外有人，美丽还有更美丽！必须见一个、爱一个，或则脚踏两只船（三只船更好），不得有从一而终、娶了她拉倒就此收心、金盆洗手之想法及行为！

　　第七条：对待现任女友，必须每天一朵玫瑰花或则数个甜蜜电话，香水、礼品不断。不得有三天不理、忘记女友生日、情人节、三八妇女节、第一次见面纪念日、第一次接吻纪念日、第一次XX日……等特别日子而想起再说忘了等不懂浪漫之行为！

　　第八条：不得有朋友妻、不可欺，兔子不吃窝边草之想法及行为！

　　第九条：女友生病或则烦恼之时，必须马上问寒问暖、轻言轻语、小心慰藉、关怀倍之，充当家庭教师、心理医生、求助热线、忠实听众之举动，不得有害怕麻烦、关我屁事、懒得理你大男子主义之行为！

　　第十条：遇见比自己更高级厉害的花花公子、泡妞专家或则同道中人，必须虚心请教、互相切磋技艺，交换经验体会，提高花心水平、让自己能更上泡妞新台阶！不得有同行相轻、互相诋毁之行为。

好男人为何變壞男人呢？？

2009-05-07T16:59:00.002+08:00

好男人为何變壞男人呢？？
男人其實本不壞十歲以前，他什麼都不懂，就不說了。

十三、四歲的時候，開始對女孩有好感，但是那時候他離女孩遠遠的，並且以討厭女孩自居，生怕被同伴嘲笑。

十五歲的時候，聽到大人們說某某男人好花，把女朋友甩了，女孩自殺了。他覺得這人真狠毒，自己將來一定要做個癡情的男人，一定要一生只愛一個人。

十六歲的時候，他喜歡上了一個女孩，但是他不敢和她說。仍然和往常一樣，臟兮兮的在灰土飛揚的操場上踢球。只在女孩走出校門的時候，躲在二層的窗戶上看她的背影，他覺得她一定是個天使。

十七歲的時候，有個女孩喜歡上了他，但是他離她很遠，心裏面只有自己那個女孩，他覺得看別的女孩都是對她的不忠。

十八歲的時候，看了一個MTV，感動得想哭；他想，如果自己的女孩失去了雙眼，他一定會像男主角會毫不猶豫的把自己的眼睛給她，讓她能看到光明。

十九歲的時候，高考了。終於和自己暗戀的女孩分別，坐火車去學校的時候，感覺自己離她越來越遠，心像被掏空了一樣。還在想自己一定不會忘記她，等到自己成功以後一定要去找她。

二十歲的時候，聽到有人講黃色笑話，覺得這人真可恥。

二十一歲的時候，她的回信中告訴他，自己有了男朋友。他為此偷偷的哭了一個晚上。

二十二歲的時候，他向一個女孩表白，女孩說：「你是個好人，可是我還小。」他想，我的確是個好人，然後他說：「沒關係，我可以等妳。」心想，我不會像那些花心的人一樣，三年五年我也能等。

二十三歲的時候，聽說自己還小的女孩跟一個帥哥戀愛了。他很納悶，長大原來可以這樣快。

二十四歲的時候，他又向一個女孩表白，女孩說：「你是個好人，可是我並不適合你。」他納悶很久，我是好人，妳怎麼還不適合我呢？

二十五歲的時候，他又追求一個女孩，女孩接受了他。他開始很幸福的為未來拼搏，他想，一時的開心只是暫時的，只有努力拼搏，他和她才能有快樂的未來，但是，半年以後，女孩和他分手了，只是因為另外一個男孩會說讓她開心的話。女孩說：「你是個好人，是我對不起你。」至此，他似乎明白了問題所在－－他是個好人！

二十六歲的時候，他開始墮落。打扮得時尚而酷，而且漸漸的學習著討好女孩的話。不久，他有了個女朋友，雖然他對她也很好，可是，他心裏知道，自己並不愛。

二十七歲的時候，他和女孩分手了。他對女孩說：「妳是個好女孩，是我對不起妳。」

二十八歲的時候，他嘗試了一夜情，發現別人能做的，自己也一樣。

二十九歲的時候，他學會了講黃色笑話，並且以看旁邊的女孩子臉紅為樂趣。

三十歲的時候，他忽然發現自己變得很有能力追求到女孩，但是卻沒有了愛的能力。

其實每個男孩，本來都是想做一個感情專一的好男人的。

其實每個男人，本來看女孩子都是看臉而不是身材。其實每個男人，本來都是不會講黃色笑話的。

其實每個男孩，本來都是渴望愛一個人直到永遠的。只是，沒有任何女孩愛這樣的男孩，她們覺得這樣的男孩太幼稚，太古板，沒有情趣。

於是男孩開始改變，變成女孩喜歡的那種嘴角掛著壞壞表情。

開始學會說甜言蜜語而不是心裏想說的話。開始學會假裝關心，學會給女孩送小飾物討好她，學會如何追求，如何把握愛情。

或者看破紅塵，遊戲情場，成為女人恨恨的那種男人。

他們可以很容易俘獲女孩子的心，但是他們也會在黑的夜裏叼著煙流淚。

心裏有愛的時候，沒有女孩；有了女孩，卻永遠沒有了愛的感覺！

當男人聽到女人抱怨世上沒有一個好男人時候，他們不會再去努力做個好男人，只是微笑著擦肩而過。

所以我的結論就是...當你的身邊出現一個對感情傻酣酣...也許生活沒有情趣...也許嘴巴不甜...也許囉嗦...也許長得不出色...也許對於自己感情執著對於愛情充滿憧憬的男人請不要再傷害他們...請不要再抱怨天底下的好男人都死哪去了因為....他們出現時妳們不曾珍惜過......

[分享]每一个失恋的人，都需要看的文章

2008-09-05T14:24:00.002+08:00

苏（苏格拉底）：孩子，为什么悲伤？

失（失恋者）：我失恋了。

苏：哦，这很正常。如果失恋了没有悲伤，恋爱大概就没有什么味道。可是，年轻人，我怎么发现你对失恋的投入甚至比对恋爱的投入还要倾心呢？

失：到手的葡萄给丢了，这份遗憾，这份失落，您非个中人，怎知其中的酸楚啊。

苏：丢了就是丢了，何不继续向前走去，鲜美的葡萄还有很多。

失：等待，等到海枯石烂，直到她回心转意向我走来。

苏：但这一天也许永远不会到来。你最后会眼睁睁的看着她和另一个人走了去的。

失：那我就用自杀来表示我的诚心。

苏：但如果这样，你不但失去了你的恋人，同时还失去了你自己，你会蒙受双倍的损失。

失：踩上她一脚如何？我得不到的别人也别想得到。

苏：可这只能使你离她更远，而你本来是想与她更接近的。

失：您说我该怎么办？我可真的很爱她。

苏：真的很爱？失：是的。

苏：那你当然希望你所爱的人幸福？

失：那是自然。

苏：如果她认为离开你是一种幸福呢？

失：不会的！她曾经跟我说，只有跟我在一起的时候她才感到幸福！

苏：那是曾经，是过去，可她现在并不这么认为。

失：这就是说，她一直在骗我？

苏：不，她一直对你很忠诚。当她爱你的时候，她和你在一起，现在她不爱你，她就离去了，世界上再没有比这更大的忠诚。如果她不再爱你，却还装的对你很有情谊，甚至跟你结婚，生子，那才是真正的欺骗呢。

失：可我为她所投入的感情不是白白浪费了吗？谁来补偿我？

苏：不，你的感情从来没有浪费，根本不存在补偿的问题，因为在你付出感情的同时，她也对你付出了感情，在你给她快乐的时候，她也给了你快乐。

失：可是，她现在不爱我了，我却还苦苦地爱着她，这多不公平啊！

苏：的确不公平，我是说你对所爱的那个人不公平。本来，爱她是你的权利，但爱不爱你则是她的权利，而你却想在自己行使权利的时候剥夺别人行使权利的自由。这是何等的不公平！

失：可是您看的明明白白，现在痛苦的是我而不是她，是我在为她痛苦。

苏：为她而痛苦？她的日子可能过的很好，不如说是你为自己而痛苦吧。明明是为自己，却还打着别人的旗号。年轻人，德行可不能丢哟。

失：依您的说法，这一切倒成了我的错？

苏：是的，从一开始你就犯了错。如果你能给她带来幸福，她是不会从你的生活中离开的，要知道，没有人会逃避幸福。

失：可她连机会都不给我，您说可恶不可恶？

苏：当然可恶。好在你现在已经摆脱了这个可恶的人，你应该感到高兴，孩子。

失：高兴？怎么可能呢，不管怎么说，我是被人给抛弃了这总是叫人感到自卑的。

苏：不，年轻人的身上只能有自豪，不可自卑。要记住，被抛弃的并不是就是不好的。

失：此话怎讲？

苏：有一次，我在商店看中一套高贵的西服，可谓爱不释手，营业员问我要不要。你猜我怎么说，我说质地太差，不要！其实，我口袋里没有钱。年轻人，也许你就是这件被遗弃的西服。

失：您真会安慰人，可惜您还是不能把我从失恋的痛苦中引出。

苏：是的，我很遗憾自己没有这个能力。但，可以向你推荐一位有能力的朋友。

失：谁？

苏：时间，时间是人最伟大的导师，我见过无数被失恋折磨的死去活来的人，是时间帮助他们抚平了心灵的创伤，并重新为他们选择了梦中情人，最后他们都享受到了本该属于自己的那份人间快乐。

失：但愿我也有这一天，可我的第一步该从哪里做起呢？

苏：去感谢那个抛弃你的人，为她祝福。

失：为什么？

苏：因为她给了你份忠诚，给了你寻找幸福的新的机会。

说完，苏格拉底走了。

朋友来访

2008-09-01T14:09:00.000+08:00

昨天一帮老朋友到我的家参观。我们很久没有见面了。想不到感情还很好。还让他们请客和送我２个枕头。很不好意思。不过更想不到他们都带另一半出席，可能过不久就会收到红炸弹了。看来，我同样要开始去参加一些活动。不要一直藏在家中了。

剪了头发

2008-08-27T21:55:00.002+08:00

虽然重新开始的标题是＂高兴和悲伤的分享＂不过我想，或许只是悲伤的分享吧。因为，高兴的时候是不想写blog的，因为高兴的时候必然有朋友，同事，家人和你分享，不过，悲伤的时候,老是是自己单独，孤独寂寞。只有写blog来表达。曾经，我没想更新blog了。不过今天，我很想要写某些东西，事或者物。希望我用中文写，让我不会想以前的事。

剪了头发，希望重新开始。思索自己的出发点。有人问我，为什么去剪这样的头发，我也不知道。想剪就剪啦。有人问我，为什么去剪这样的头发? 或许我可以告诉他们，男人痛苦，悲伤那么就会一时冲动，就去剪这样的头发。男人为什么痛苦，悲伤？仅仅是２件事：金钱和女人。刚好我２件事都有。要钱缺钱，要女人没有女人。怎么不会一时冲动？

３个月了，为什么我还不可以高兴的，快乐的，幸福的笑？很喜欢一首歌。。。
＂Can't Smile Without You＂－ Barry Manilow

You know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you

You came along just like a song
And brightened my day
Who would have believed that you were part of a dream
Now it all seems light years away

And now you know I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel sad when you're sad
I feel glad when you're glad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile

Now some people say happiness takes so very long to find
Well, I'm finding it hard leaving your love behind me

And you see I can't smile without you
I can't smile without you
I can't laugh and I can't sing
I'm finding it hard to do anything
You see I feel glad when you're glad
I feel sad when you're sad
If you only knew what I'm going through
I just can't smile without you...

2008-05-13T12:09:00.002+08:00

Dear May,
I thought I alraedy can don update this blog. but finally I cant. Actually at first I see your msn title put blank, I start feel happy because I thought maybe you have somethings happen between you and your bf. but finally no. I see your friendster again and find that you have a nice weekend again. You come to KL here. even in front of my company and take photo. I try to avoid go to the place that you show off your happniess but now you even come to my office area, is this mean I need to change company?

2008-05-08T19:26:00.000+08:00

“什么叫专一，专一就是在一个时间只爱上一个人，而不是还傻傻的等待一个已不爱你的人。”

2008-05-07T09:10:00.002+08:00

Dear May,
This first thing I do today is check the friendster. I want to know where you been and what you do last week. Finally I get the answer. U go to Tian Hao Temple and look like very happy. I ask all my coli and want to know what is the main purpose of go to Tian Hao Temple. Luckly a lot of my budha friends say there is no certain purposes. Actually I am really scare about that they will say about is aim for love or marriage.

Then I ask myself. If you say want to go with me, I will go with you or not. Finally, my answer is yes. But what for? I need you ask and say it out and is already lose the meaning.

I go and think about religion again. I am a christian, maybe I not so sincere but I still know that I am belong to christian 1. Am I will follow you go temple? I totally understand I will not go last time but now I think I will. Look like I change already. Look like you really is the important person in my life...... I try to give up you this few day but now, I still writing to you......

2008-05-06T18:59:00.003+08:00

Dear May,
Finally you online today. I believe you take leave yesterday. I believe you go somewhere with your bf. Where he bring you? what you 2 do? I try to login friendster and hope i can get some sign from it. But you never upload some photo or wat to let me have sign. I hate this type of feel. i want to know where you go, what you do. Maybe I will hurt, but at least I know where you been or what you do.

I really don know what I want now, I hope you don upload, but I oso hope u upload. Dilemna. I already don know who am I already.

2008-05-05T13:20:00.001+08:00

女人没有就算了，如果还没有钱，那怎么可以？生活没有意思，我不过是想找一些理由来继续活下来。找一些生活的含义。我不过是想找人来爱，找一个人来爱我.

2008-05-05T10:42:00.003+08:00

Dear May,
Y you don online today? you block me? You MC today? You take leave today? Your company network down? Y you don update your friendster? Where you go yesterday? What you do yesterday? He treat you not good? Anything I can help?

Where can I get those questions' answer????????

2008-05-04T22:27:00.000+08:00

Dear May,
Today whole day I go to forum and chit chat. I express my feel there. I tell them about you, tell them I want to forgot you. But actually when I chat with them, I still thinking about you. Thinking about where you going today, what you will do today. I tell all the forum people I want to start a new relationship. I don know I can forgot you or not but I know if I start a new relationship, I can use the time or energy that i use to miss you, to miss another gal. i don know it work or not. In the forum a lot of people attack me say that my action is not correct. I also know is not correct but I feel I need someone to rescue me from you. But when they really intro me some gals, I feel is very hard to start. I still thinking about you......

Maybe now is the God's punishment to me because I treat you so bad.....

2008-05-04T14:45:00.001+08:00

世上最难的事情不是爱或恨一个人，而是忘掉一个你爱或恨的人。

2008-05-03T22:59:00.004+08:00

Dear May,

Why the time cannot be returned? Why the time machine only exist in movie or story? Why I cannot have a friend like Doremon?

If can give me the chance to get back the time line, I even can deduct my life for exhange.

思念

2008-05-03T22:28:00.001+08:00

曾经独自暗恋的思念是苦的；
没有希望的思念是酸酸的；
回味的思念是甜蜜的；
酸或苦又带甜的不协调思念慢慢造就麻木没有味道的思念；
没有味道的思念造就了不明不白的思念。。。

This Story Delight Me.

2008-05-03T10:59:00.001+08:00

一只公寄居蟹找到了一只很大的空貝殼，便把貝殼清理乾淨，做成了自己的房子。有了房子的公寄居蟹很快找到了一只母寄居蟹，他們快樂地生活在這個大房子裡。

每天他們出門，母寄居蟹就自由快樂地遨游，覓食，而公寄居蟹背著沉重的房子艱難地跟在母寄居蟹身後。母寄居蟹游一段路就要停下來等公蟹。

這樣的生活過了沒多久，有一天母寄居蟹跟著一只無拘無束的龍蝦一起游走了，再也沒有回來，而公寄居蟹無法丟下他沉重的房子，只能眼睜睜地看著母寄居蟹游遠、游遠、游遠，漸漸消失，不見……

這個故事告訴我們：如果你有一所房子，那你泡妞的難度將降低。這個故事還告訴我們：如果你的房子成為了你的重負，那麼你以後的生活將變得痛苦不堪。所以在決定是否分期買房的時候請先衡量一下得與失。

因为期待，所以失望

2008-05-03T08:17:00.000+08:00

因为期待，所以失望
失望，有时候也是一种幸福…
因为有所期待，所以才会失望…
因为有爱，才会有期待…
所以纵使失望，也是一种幸福…
虽然这种幸福有点痛…
不… 是很痛…

2008-05-02T23:55:00.000+08:00

Dear May,
I went to watch Iron Man just now. It is a good movie. But at the middle of movie, I miss you again. Is that mean next time I cannot watch movie already if I did not want to think about you? I don know.

I know you like this kind of movie. Actually before we break up I already promise myself want to watch this movie with you. But now, end up I watch will my coli, you will, or you already watch with your bf. I don know. When end of movie, I try to look around and think about silly thing like whether you will watch this movie with me or not although maybe we not sit together. I know that really silly, you sure are giving tuition la. But I just cannot control my head to turn around and see.

I suddenly want to find someone. Of coz, R is my best choice, and only choice. Usually friday nite I will try to date you after 10pm then we go "jian don" have a meet if I work late or doing something. "Jian don", a place that have so much memories and the place you broke up with me. I really hope I can date you go there again but now I cant. I already lose the chance. I hate myself. that time I really want to drive to your house and ask you out. Luckly my coli call for have a drink, else I will do some silly things again.
Somethings happen in the middle so finally only T have a drink with me. Here drink mean "yam cha" but not wine or beer. I try to stop drink wine or beer. I used to be the great drinker in my team but now I feel I cannot let this continue again. Drink maybe can let me forget you for a while but end up with more memories of you and me. haiz......

May, I really miss you. I miss you.

爱

2008-05-02T10:22:00.002+08:00

爱是恒久忍耐，又有恩慈；
爱是不嫉妒，爱是不自夸，不张狂，不做害羞的事，
不求自己的益处，不轻易发怒，不计算人家的恶，不喜欢不义，只喜欢真理；
凡事包容，凡事相信，凡事盼望，凡事忍耐。
爱是永不止息。

如果你爱的人放弃了你，请放开自己，好让自己有机会爱别人.
有的东西你再喜欢也不会属於你的，有的东西你再留恋也注定要放弃的。
不是谁离开了谁就无法生活，遗忘让我们坚强。
遗忘就是我们给彼此最好的纪念。

2008-05-01T17:48:00.002+08:00

Dear May,
I have 2 friends that also not yet recover from their relationship. I saw their msn title all put "Waiting" in English or Japanese. If I saw those messages last time, I will ignore them. But now I totally understand their feel. I don know I will become one of them or not, keep on waiting you back or I will find another one later. But from their life I know that, waiting is torture but they just cannot control their selves. They cannot accept new relationship but keep on thinking about old relationship. I don know when they can stand up and accept a new relationship but I know that’s very hard. I can predict myself from them.

So I start ask my friends to introduce new girls to me, start online look for net love or what, just want to recover from your hurt since you call him as husband already. Just 1 month time can make your heart totally changed. I really cannot expect that. I do not want myself to keep waiting for you. I want to wake up; I want to be the top in the future. I cannot stop my foot here. I don want to update my blog by writing letter to you. That’s what I tell myself this morning. But now, I still keep on thinking about you. Maybe I really will become my friends’ style? Pretend nothing happen for whole life but cannot accept new relationship? Just stubborn and feel that you are the best and let other better go? I don know. I already bore about those consoles, counseling or what. If really that easy recover from this pain, them this world will not have that much romantic or sad poem or song. But 1 thing is correct, I need to be more hardworking. Only if I success then only next time I can chase you back and give you a better life……

Haiz, today is holiday. Where you go with your bf? Tomorrow you will update your Friendster or msn picture again? Can I control myself not to view your Friendster and msn?

没有爱情，没有问题???

2008-05-01T09:50:00.001+08:00

没有爱情，没有问题???
所以，如果要没有问题，就要没有爱情。如果爱情都没有的话，当然也没有问题了...
这个就是说，为了避免我们陷入爱情的问题里，所以我们都应该不要去开始爱情...
如果恋爱是苦多过乐的，倒不如自己一个人更自在?
可是，另外一个问题又来了。到底我可以做到吗? 我可以慧剑斩情丝吗？我又开始想她了....
何时我可以慧剑斩情丝?何时我可以放开?

越夜越寂寞

2008-04-30T23:32:00.004+08:00

因为想一个人而寂寞，因为爱一个人而温柔，因为有一个梦而执着，因为等一个人而折磨，.... 想去履行曾经的诺言.....比全世界的任何人都爱你......

失去她以后
每当夜晚感觉寂寞总是会笼罩着整个黑夜。。。
特别的宁静，时间过得特别慢。。。
而且常睡不着....

想我爱的她，每夜都会想起。不知她会不会也想起我。

想我爱的她....是不是在她男朋友的怀抱？是不是想她爱的男朋友？

而我繼續孤單的過日子......

天涯何处无芳草??????

2008-04-30T23:20:00.003+08:00

Dear May,
I never expect you online now. Maybe you onduty today. Many works to be done? Maybe just want to online and chat with your bf? I don know. But I saw your msn title change to "My Damn Cool Hubby.." Again... I hurt again. Maybe I cannot sleep again. Why tomorrow is a holiday? Can I spend the time alone? I don know. But I will go to R place again. else I will not know what I will do and what I will be......

I just cannot delete your msn.... when can I really delete your msn? When can I forgot you? When can I forgive myself?

R say he delay the China trip to July, I feel good when I heard about that, mean he can accompany me until July lo. I feel good and direct decide that tonight meal on me. He tell me my action delight him. Maybe? But actually I just want to make other people happy. People tell me that make other happy, you will also happy. Maybe I still cannot feel the happiness, but I hope all of my friends, coli and you happy.

Hope I can recover from you before R go to China. Hope I can release myself. Hope everything will be good. Hope my hope all can become true...

2008-04-30T16:35:00.004+08:00

Dear May,
You never know how hurt is me when I see you display your msn title as "My Damn Lovely Hubby.." and display the photo that you 2 take together as msn pic. My heart and brain got somethings broke that time. Maybe you think I deleted your msn but actually I just block you. I still can view your msn title and msn pic.

So that mean you really happy with your current bf. I never know you can announ to all that someone is your husband. Maybe I rally cannot give you those happiness. I just remember that last time you declare me as your husband but now......

I don know what I can do already. Maybe I really need to delete your friendster and msn so I can release myself? Our 4 years relationship really mean nothing? I don know. I know I am a bad bf but I really don know I am bad like this. I am very sure I lost the romatic and I never know you still need it. After see your photo, I just know that I am really bad. I cannot make you happy like this. Maybe you not purpose mean that, but your action, your smile, your words all make me more hurt.... regret why I cannot give you the same feel like that guy.

遗憾一生

2008-04-30T11:38:00.003+08:00

我不期待你对我好只有你不推开我就很高兴了

爱情是一座森林，一座无论再怎么大都只是被称为森林的森林，当你刚走进这个森林时，或许你会对于森林的奥妙感到兴奋，但当你发现离开森林的路时，你的好奇心会让你跟随着它离开，而当你走出了森林时，你会发现原来森林只是世界的一部分，其实这个世界真的很大，森林在世界的定义里算不上什么，真正属于你的世界，其实或许是森林外的天空。。。。。。

2008-04-29T17:56:00.005+08:00

是她失去一个爱她的人,而我只是失去一个不爱我的人....

如果你愛一個人，隨遇而安，讓她自由的飞，如果最后她还是回到你身边，那就是命中注定的

曹操曰:" 宁我负天下人，莫要天下人负我。 "

曾经喜欢过的女生，即使最后没有在一起，她在我心中永远有一个特别的地位，我永远都会记得她。

爱别人，也要懂得爱自己。自己都不疼惜自己，别人哪会疼惜你呢？

好想他-李圣杰

2008-04-29T14:52:00.004+08:00

好想他好想他亲爱的你知道吗心里话别藏了爱的音符听到吗

不说话的出声振住冷话把淋夹铁淋夹一起融化

沙啦啦小雨打你愿意吗我问她

粉红色的樱花栽种楼下老了旦的牙刷分外疲乏

沙啦啦小雨打你在哪儿啊好想他

好想他好想他好想听他说说话一个人无宣假好想抱他我的他

好想他好想他好想跟他说说话准备了好久啊亲口说这句话好爱好爱他

看那星光为了你像在闪给你这一生能依靠的肩膀

橱窗里飘雪花空气冷吗你下巴往下压是拒绝吗

沙啦啦小雨打伤了你吗我问他

眉儿弯泪汪汪可爱模样北星冷照情郎远在他乡

一天天一夜夜走向流沙好想他

好想他好想他好想听他说说话吻吻他的头发好想吻他我的他

好想他好想他好想跟他说说话准备了好久啊亲口说这句话好爱好爱他

好想他好想他好想听他说说话吻吻他的头发好想吻他我的他

好想他好想他一起为精彩成长这爱恋这情话只想用心唱首情歌告诉他

2008-04-28T09:56:00.003+08:00

Dear May,
My heart is bleeding now. I saw you go to Genting yesterday. I do not know what to write now.......

2008-04-27T13:43:00.002+08:00

Dear May,
Sat and Sun cannot delight me. I try to find someone go out but I find that I have no one to call. I still in R place but I find that here already cannot reduce my pain. How can I stop miss you, stop jealous about ur bf? How can I stop blaming myself? How can I pass my life without you?

Sunway, Yue streamboat, KLCC, Titiwangsa...... Where will you go today? I just keep on thinking. I hate my brain keep on thinking something nonsense. Just like the attachment I read just now. I am not oblighted to the jeolousy. I already not your bf and maybe in your mind, I am a stranger that last time know well.......If last time people tell me break up with gf will become like this, I never believe them. I always think that just something will happen in drama 1. But now I know that, it is real.

R and D kept on say something that make me happy. Last time I will be very happy to stay with them but now I am not. Those jokes already cannot make me laugh and sometimes I even don listen to them or pretend listen to them and my brain just think about you. I really miss you, love you......

2008-04-27T11:40:00.001+08:00

你以为最酸的是吃醋吗？
　　　
不是的，最酸溜溜的感觉是没权吃醋！跟本就轮不到你吃醋，那是最酸最酸的。

你暗恋的那个人，你能吃他的醋吗？

眼看着他跟情人甜甜蜜蜜，眼看着他对其他人好，你就是没资格吃醋。你的喉咙，酸的有点冒出泡沫来。
　
你喜欢那个人，他也知道，但他不喜欢你。他跟谁来往，跟谁恋爱，也轮不到你吃醋。

他对某人特别好，你恨的牙痒痒，好想走到他面前，质问他：“你干嘛对她这样好”？　
　
然而，你是谁？

即使望着他和她牵手，她替他整理衣服的领口，甚至坐在他大腿上，你也无权说什么，你只能在心里恨她。

旧情人的醋，你也无权再吃。大家已经分手了，他和谁在一起，不关你的事。

他说过会永远怀念你，永远保护你，那又怎样？他可没说过永远不爱其他人。

他有了新的对像，他投入一段新的恋情，你从没见过他对一个人这么好。

你跟他说：我讨厌你跟她在一起！但你们不是已经分手了吗？

吃醋也要讲名份。吃不到的醋，是最酸的。

很想吃你醋，但我是你什么人呢？！

2008-04-26T14:25:00.001+08:00

Dear May,
Sat morning again, so the hard time comes again. I will think about u and ur bf. Actually I take a lot of work back home do but I cannot start on it. I just no mood does. I think I will go to R house and pass my weekend with him. I start worry I don know how to pass my weekend when he go to China. He will go to China at second week of June. Still got about 2 months time to go. I hope I can recover from your pain that time. But, I believe, It is impossible since every day have something that remind me about you. I try not to think about it but mind is not control by me.

Checked your Friendster and see you delete my comment. You never know that’s how pain to me. I start hate myself why I go and see your Friendster. The comment that your bf send to you also make me upset and hurt. I believe you two will have a happy weekend and I wish you will happy also. I start thinking where you will go, where that guy live, where I can meet you. I really have a mind that wants to go your house and see whether that guy treat you good or not. R and ED keep on tell me let it go and I want to let you know that I really want to let it go but my heart is not control by my brain. I never know when I can stop updating this blog. I think the day I don update this blog is the day I totally forgot you….But when is the days? Will the day come?

2008-04-25T23:00:00.001+08:00

Dear May
I went to TCGM today. I don know whether my job is the main factor to make us breakup, but I am sure this TCGM client is part of the reasons. I put so much efforts in this client until I don care about u and the incident. This was still my hardest pain in my heart. So really, I don prefer to go to this client side. It refreshes my memories and that time I just thought about working, and now I know that you are the most important one. When TCGM people appreciated my hardwork in their project and recommended TCGS ( M for Malaysia, S for Singapore) to accept my company as their next vendor, I really want to tell my boss or TCGM people that this make me lose my lover forever…

Just now I attended my company’s gathering. My company just organized a night for all the company staffs. A lot of people brough their gf or wife to come. When I saw those people who came with couple made me hurt more. And the location of this gathering was pizza hut. Actually I don want to attend already when I know the location is pizza hut. But because boss kept on asking me to go, I was forced to attend it. I never knew eating pizza was so hard for me. Pizza that without you, cannot delight me anymore. Although I look like enjoying the meal, but actually my heart was bleeding. But I still needed to pretend. Simply because I am the one who can make the people surrounding happy. Maybe I really have the talent of being a clown

After the dinner, we went to watch “forbidden Kingdom”. This was part of the gathering packages and because not to be anti social, I joined. But in the middle of movie, I couldnt bear. I kept on reminding those movies that I used to watch with you. Especially the movie “David” that we watched in Pavilian since I was in Pavilian that time. You never knew now I even don want to go Pavilian for lunch or any purposes because for me it recalled a lot of memories. I even don want to go to TGI Friday that floor because It was the last place we hung around…

After movie I went to have a drink with my coli again. The quantity of wine and beer I drank this few days was even more than the quantity of wine and beer for the past 25 years. Due to environmental issue, I opened my last pack of Kent Neo. Most of the cigarettes were given to my coli. My feeling was bad when seeing they took my Kent Neo but I also felt happy because this was the last pack. I did not know how could I get back to home but I knew that beer and cigarettes cannot reduce my pain already. When I can just forget you and start a new life?

2008-04-24T10:28:00.003+08:00

Dear May,
Exactly a month u broke up with me....I still feel the pain l like yesterday. I still could remember the entire scene that happened that day. You said you wanted to break up, I rushed to nowhere to buy flower for you. I took you to that restaurant and begged you to stay at my side. I pretended I was ok. My feeling and my mood on that day are now refreshing my brain. My heart that was already broken into pieces, breaking again into even small pieces now.

I hate my good memories. I used to feel very proud of my good memory last time whereby I could even remember all the maths’ formulas, classmate's birth and phone and etc. I can remember everything if I want to keep it inside my memory. But now, I hate my good memory. I tried to forget how I treated you I cant. I tried to forgot your face, your hug, your care but i cant. I never realized that was the treasure given by God to me. Now I give away this treasure to other people. I’m really stupid. Bastard!

Hai... No mood to work today....

2008-04-23T22:36:00.001+08:00

Dear May,
I tried not to update my blog already. I tried to work properly. I tried to not think about you. I tried to think about my parents when I was thinking about you. But I just coudn’t afford to do that. You are still always in my heart. I still cannot give up on you. If I do not write something to release my inner pain, I have no way to control myself.

I have stopped smoking already, although I still got a pack of Kent Neo. You’ll never know how hard for me to stop it. I threw away my lighter but eventually, it caused me to get a box of matches. Even myself cannot imagine that I will become this type of person. I used to hate smoking people last time.. But now I know why people love to smoke already. But as what I said, I stop smoking, since tomorrow will be one month broke up anniversary.

I started to pray. i never know I will start to pray like this. I am a christian but I know all the while I do not practicing Christianity lifestyle. I started to pray for my parent, my brother, my friends R, D, CY and ED. Finally I prayed for you also - prayed for your health and happiness. I never think I’m going to pray for you before this, but the real thing is, I do. I must admit that I may abuse the power of pray because I only prayed for you after breaking up with u. I prayed to get you back, to make you dump your bf. When I was praying, I know that was incorrect way to pray with devilish motive behind, but I still couldn’t control. Fortunately, just now I was able to conduct a good pray. Maybe really, time really can heal people......

2008-04-22T17:53:00.003+08:00

・.｡.有明天就有希望.｡.・有时候明明心很痛，却要笑得很灿烂。

在某一天，没有电脑，关掉手机，你会想谁？谁又会想你？

也许我们不能放弃的不是不爱我们的人，而是那个为什么我对你那么好，你却不同样地对待我的疑问；也许不是我们不明白这个世界的不公平，而是不能接受这样的不公平也发生在我身上；也许不是我们的心里老是忘不了那个人，而是老是忘不了那个让我们跌倒而又没能重新爬起来的空间.

世上最累的事情，莫过于眼睁睁看着自己的心碎，还得自己动手把它粘起来.

我们都会忘记使自己笑的人，却永远记得使自己哭的人。

2008-04-22T17:13:00.004+08:00

Dear May,
I never thought I will write 2 letter to you in 1 day. I never know I got so many things want to tell you. Maybe when I lost the chance to tell you, then just realize that I got so many things want to let you know...

People tell me that I will recover from you 1 day. I also believe that. I just don know when is the day. People tell me that try to chase other gals, I try to on my focus on them but look like I am fail. You are my only now. I don know this situation will remain until when, but I believe one of my friend say that, "until 1 day I will collect all the broken pics of my heart, and store it in a virtual box, put it in the deepest edge of my heart. then I use the remain of my heart to chase another gal. If I am lucky, I can don touch the box until I die, else we both don know what will happen....I believe what he tell me and I believe I am trying to collect the pics of my heart now. This process is very diffcult for me. I think that, The most diffcult thing for me now is I break
my heart myself, then I need to recover it myself again......

People tell me that maybe I not love you, just because of I cannot wake up from the pain being you dump or you got partner before me. I don know whether they are true or not. But at least I don feel this feeling from other gal. I rather believe this is love. People also tell me I am sad because I feel I am sorry to you. I agree with them. I really feel sorry to you. But I know that the feel that I feel from you not only sorry. If only sorry then I should be just find a way to say sorry, but not like the situation I face now......

2008-04-22T09:07:00.005+08:00

Dear May,
I noticed that u have added few photos in your friendster again. you went to Titiwangsa and you cut your hair. I could still remember we used to go to titiwangsa together but that time you din’t look as happy like this. Is this bf really treating you that good? make you really happy like that. I don know. I hope you are happy but I will be happier if you can stay happiness with me. But look like is impossible oledi. Maybe 4 years really can make people lost romantic and caring...

I went out to have a drink last nite. I thought beer or wine can let me forgot something, but look like no. Chivas, Kent Neo all couldn’t make me to forget you. Especially Kent Neo, when I was smoking, I felt like getting you back although i remembered that u used to say if I smoke, then you will leave me. This make me keep on smoking but at the same time reminded me stop it. Dilemma. I also started to worry when I finish them because seems cannot get this brand from normal place. But on other hand I also hoped just to finish this pack so I will not smoke again. I never know you can influence me so much.I really hope I got the chance to chase you back but because of your photo, I know it is impossible oledi. Every nite I’m blaming myself until fall asleep.... I really don know when I can stop this kind of action... maybe forever? I never know....

2008-04-21T10:31:00.005+08:00

Dear May,I packed all your things this early morning. This even included the box that you bought for me during 2006's christmas. I cannot let those things keep on dominating my mind. I have also stopped making stars because I felt that I couldn’t afford to continue like this. Even with 999 stars, I know you will not give me back a chance. This morning when I was looking at the self made stars, I couldn’t control myself to throw it. I put so much effort in making the stars but on another hand I threw them away outside the window this morning. I hope DBKL will not find me tonite. But really, After throwing, I regretted again. Those are all my sincerities but I just threw them like rubbish.....

This morning I tried to change my look and style. I don want people to know I am so upset. I wore the clothes that I dislike with my spec now. I could still remember you kept on telling me to wear something that look younger. Although now maybe you cannot have a look on it, But at least I am doing it. My coli all were surprised by my look.... I really hope the change of Style and look will make me happier

I saw someone was viewing my profile in friendster. His name is aston. I believe that he is your bf since he is the only one that appears on your friendster feature friends list that viewed me. I don know how I feel now...... I hope I am wrong but my sixth sense tells me is correct. I refuse to think so much but I cannot control myself. I hate my self......

I directly booked the ticket to Sarawak. Luckly the ticket was cheap. Due to the works and lot problems, I only can back on17 May. My coli J and K will go back with me. They kept wanting to have a look on my hometown although I have told hem there is nothing special. At the moment I booked the ticket, I just cannot control myself to think about you, because you used to tell me that u want to back Sarawak with me last time. I cannot control my tears again. I never know I am such a person. Can cry so much 1. I think the drops of my tear in these 2 weeks are more than whole life of mine.....

2008-04-20T20:01:00.002+08:00

Dear May,
I can’t sleep again. I truly understand that Sat and Sun will be a hard time for me but I never expect it’s that kind of tough where I cannot stand it anymore. I just keep on thinking that you may have a whole nite free on sat nite and whole day free on sun, which may cause you to have a date with him. Where have u been? How you pass the time with him? What will you do when you go out with him? I cannot control my mind to think about it. I just cannot control.
I do not want to stay at R there anymore and insist going back to wangsa at noon. I know I cannot keep bothering people. I need to solve it by myself. So I just tell myself, if I really want to think about you and you are doing now, then just keep thinking la. If I cannot pretend nothing happen, then I just don pretend la. If I want to cry, just cry. Those are the reasons I want to back to my place and stay alone. At least no one can c me when I am crying.
Outside keep raining again. I just cannot hold myself to think about that time I sent you back in heavy rain evening. We had a quarrel that time. Then when I sent you back, I rushed out at rain to get an umbrella for you. I know at that moment you get touched and finally, it helped to solve our quarrel problem. I really hope now I can redo that again. I just want you to know I can do anything for you to get you back. I know most of our quarrel originates from my fault. I just keep thinking about other people's ideas and always think that other people's gf is better. I know my fault already. When something nice is already on my side, I just keep on thinking there will be something better again. I am sorry that I always blame you cannot cook or thinking about you not a christian.... people's view always make me don really understand how good are you. I am regretted and sorry for that.

2008-04-19T21:00:00.001+08:00

Dear May,
I just cannot tahan staying at home today. No choice, I got to pack my things and went to R there for 1 nite stay. I need people to console me. I already hate myself to keep say this again and again. R called CY to come to his house for a gathering and we had something like reunion becoz maybe next time we don really have chance to meet again. R just got the chance to work in China with a really high pay. So finally, R, D, CY and me had a gathering today.We have a K session at nite. This reminded me on you again. I just remembered we used to have a K session together with toh and YF during my birth last year. Actually I really dislike leisure mall for k but finally, due to everyone suggest go there, so i go. I cannot becoz the place got our memories and refuse to be there, although that's what I doing currently.K couldn’t delight me but it helped to release some of my pain. When R asking for some photo shooting then I still cannot stop thinking about you. only at this momeent I just know take how photo shooting hurt for me. I felt regretful not taking any photo with you when you r there...After K session, we went for a drink. During the drinking session, I also just know how my friends face their relationship problem and that really taught me alot. I swear, if I got a second chance, I will never treat you like what I have done before. I really oledi fully understood what is love and it need 2 people contribute 1. last time I just keep on let you contribute. I am really selfish. I am sorry.

2008-04-18T11:31:00.002+08:00

Dear May,
I really hate myself. I cannot control myself to accept that you already not my gf. I never know I love you that much. I already block your msn and delete your contact number in my phonebook. But, I know that is useless. I really try to delete your msn and message that you send to me in phone but i find that I cannot. When I want to delete your msg or msn, my hand just cannot press the delete button.

Every morning I will look at your msn title to know your status of that day. But this few days you already do not put msn title. that let me more hurt because although maybe you put some sweet title that relate to your bf, but at least i know you are happy or what's status. But now, I never know your status and that's make me will think this and that. Usually that will cause me half day to control myself not to think much. my work really rubbish now. if not i still got self control and some nice coli, I think I will direct throw the letter and back hometown be a "fei chai" whole life. I don know my boss know this or not. but actually I request more work to do for forgot the pain you give to me.... But look like due to my work performance this few days, my boss also don want me to do more jobs. that make me have more time think more about u. I don want to be like this but I just cannot control.

So now I just can keep on look at your friendster to know that you got upload more pictures or not. I just want to know your status only. Last time I never care about your friendster but now I am glad that you interesting in frienster. at least let me have a way to know... although maybe you update it once in the blue moon. I don know you will hate me or not becoz keep on c I browse your friendster. I never hate friendster have the feature to know who 's view at that much. That make me cannot hide from you...

I also look back my favorite drama - friends for look for some funny things to laugh. But now I find that I cannot and I already understand Ross Geller 's feel to Rachel Green. The feel is really sad but I don know why last time I will laugh. Maybe that's the different of having you and without you.

2008-04-17T14:55:00.003+08:00

Dear May,

Last night I dream about you. Actually I cannot sleep well this few days but yesterday nite consider a good sleep. that's all because I dream about you. I dream that I win your heart from your current bf and we are happy to be together. I really smile happy that time. But when I wake up this morning, I found that is a dream, my heart really hurt. I even try to sleep back and get the dream back. I never know a sweet dream can be that sweet and the reality is that much bad. I though I already use to the hurt but I found that every day I have different feel of hurt. I just realize that you can affect me so much.

I also got try to know more gals or friends to release my pain. but I found that although last time i feel if this gal is my gf then how good for me already cannot apply to me. Although some gal are nice, are hot, they already cannot make my feel come out agian. I don know this type of situation will until what time, maybe 2 weeks? 1 month? 3 months? half year? 1 year? or foverer? I never know.

I really regret I don hold u with all my heart when we still couple.... I really wish the time can return.

No Matter - Angel

2008-04-17T14:29:00.000+08:00

Doesn't matter whom you are with
Doesn't matter where you are going
Don't you know I'm still waiting here for you
And pray for you
In the sunny days, Sun will light your day
In the windy days,wind will lead your way
I have to say, you're my treasure moments
Never gonna walk away
In the rainy days, rains will share my tears
In the stormy days, storms will steal my pain
Just go your way and leave things all behind
Spread your wings and fly away
I'm pretending you're mine
I'm wishing you'll be fine
The moments we share never die
You've made a difference to my life
And let me realize
The feeling I've got deep inside

2008-04-16T23:45:00.000+08:00

Dear May,

Today is Wednesday, checked your friendster and notice that you delete 1 photo that you take with ur bf. I don know why you remove it. Maybe u know I always look at your friendster so delete that one who hurt me the most? Or you also feel that photo so over? You never know that photo got make me want to give up my life. luckly I got 3 nice coli: B, J and K help me pass though this time, else I don know where am I already.

Today nothing special, just miss you and heart hurt only. I start can felt to sleep oledi. I believe the time can help me recover from your hurt. Everyone tell me about that. I also can stop writing some blog that is send to you but actually I know you should not have chance to c it.

Just now have a drink with J and K. They suggested want to go to my hometown if the air ticket is free. I suddenly thinking about you because you request me go back hometown with you and I promise to you this year will bring you go. But now I have no chance on it. I really regret about it. I start think about a lot of things that I promise you or not promise you but I decide to do for you but I don do it. I really though got a lot of time to let me implement it but now already end. I really regret....

2008-04-15T21:04:00.001+08:00

Dear May,
I don sleep whole nite and due to R's work, we need to wake up at 6am. I sent ED to Lrt and start my journey to a client that in shah alam. My heart really pain and I don know how I reach shah alam. The appointment is at 9.30am but I arrive at 7am. No doubt on this, this 2 hour use to refresh my memories that have you....
I work like a zombie in my office. I believe my coli already know something happen on me. I cannot eat well, sleep well, perform well. I just tell them I am sick but I think they all know the fact is not that easy. haiz... who care now. Last time I love to stay with my coli and I really think I find a work that is belong to me. I love spent my time with them than spent with you. But now, I find that I am wrong. I agree they can give me something new because last time I never work with a big group like this. But that happniess are just illusion. Without you, I never have mood to work and chit chat with my coli. I really have a high expectation on this job last time but now, I don care. If not really I have something that I need to handle now, I will direct go back Sarawak and cry in my mother arm. I don know I am weak like this...Now my msn title is "Never weak before, Never become strong. Never become Loser, How can become a Winner?"
I try to recover from your pain and I hope I can be strong, So I refuse ED's request to stay at my house tonite. I want to stay alone. I need to overcome this. I cannot ask my friend keep on helping me. haiz... hope tonite I can sleep and have self control not to msg you...

2008-04-14T23:02:00.000+08:00

Dear May,
Today is the day I write my blog back. I need a place to release my pain. I don care you will see my blog or when you will see my blog or wat. I also don care got people see my blog or not. Actually I also hope no people will see my blog. At least not the one I know. I just want to write something for apologize? for release stress? or whatever la.
When I see you upload your photo that take with your bf, I just cannot control myself and say something rude to you. I need to apologize to you. Maybe what you do is rite, that really let me die my heart. I really don put any hope on you already. Maybe that what your action's mean....
Actually I got think about jump down from my office just now. 18th floor should be can let me die without a lot of pain. Luckly my sit not really near the window, else I don know what will happen. Actually I don want to let a lot of people know I lost you. But I lazy to pretend. I lost control in my office and really scared my coli and my master. I have been rude to my master. I am sorry for that. I try to find someone to chat but my coli, B and K all have their date. Actually I also know I cannot keep count on them because they also got their life. But that time I just hope got people can chat with me. Finally I get my high school friend ED to help me. I really happy I still got him...
When he know my situation, he just call my another high school friend R to help console me. I know you sure know who is R. I never know they can help me so much. I really though we just can play, laugh and entertain but cannot share this kind of things. but the truth is they can. I am glad that I have them as my friends...
ED and I stay a nite at R place. Although they keep on console me but actually not much help. The funny thing is R place at 20 floor and got a window that cannot be close. Last time we got kidding about this window really can let people jump down 1. When they start fall on sleep, I stand at the window there for long time. I keep on refuse myself to jump down but I really need to say, I got a strong desire want to jump from there, especially my mind keep on thinking about the photo. At this moment, B help me overcome this. She msg me and care about my feel. I really need to agree, gal's console is different from buddy's one. Maybe I really a bad guy la. Think that gal is important than friends. haha....
B, thank for your msg. If not you sms me for 1 nite, I really don know where am I now. I just can keep your help in my heart and just want to let you know, I own you. You let my parent still have a son... Maybe you will feel funny but I really mean that.

2008-04-09T14:33:00.000+08:00

Dear May

I just know how you disappointed to me. I have think whole nite and I just realized that how bad am I so make you be other ppl's gf in 1 week time. I always thought we oledi been together so long time so we will never break up. I cannot imagine that 1 incident make you suddenly break up with me. At least before that we still very happy and go to TGI have lunch. At that time I still promise you will go to planet Hollywood to have lunch. and go to melaka on april, and back to sarawak together. we also thinking of buying TV or teach tuition in my new house. I oledi make my future have you. so even now I will get the keys soon but i just find that it is meaningless oledi. You can say I don care you last time but You cannot say I don love you. I don know when I can recover from the pain but at least now every nite i still sleep with tears. My work performance is a rubbish already. Without you, how hard I work oso no use oledi. I really hope you can share my life when I am success in it since you have go thought every hard points with me. I never know how important you are when you are my gf. So when you mention you already other's ppl gf then I just know I lost the most love of my life. I will use everything to make you back. I promise will go visit ur house everynite. I promise will let u know where r me and what I am doing. Just hope you don ignore me. I will let you control my financial. I will do what u want me to do. I just hope you come back to me. I never feel this pain in my life. And I can very confirm to you say that if you r ready, I can marry you now. I really realize what I wrong. I wish I can use my whole life to recover this wrong. I already can tell you very clear that I love you but not other things...

Please do not ignore my msg like my mail. I cannot afford that. I try to be a gentleman and let you go but finally I find that I cannot. I am really regret I just let you go when u say want to break up. I really thought we will together back that time. Just let you cold down for a while...

Your Ex

Really, I will not surprise if 1 day I announce I am bankrupt.

2007-10-26T10:08:00.000+08:00

I just sign my SnP. Suddenly all my money gone. Actually I got think about using all my money to change a house is the right decision? Just a guy with age 24 has to afford car loan and house loan? Actually I keep telling myself and people that buy a house is not really a burden. Because what I need to do is paid the 10% of the house, then make the loan period be longer, then use the rent money to cover the installment. Now I think I am wrong, a lot of expenses are unexpected. At the day I decide to buy house, I already look for ppl to rent my house and at least some of my friends say ok. But now since my S&P delay, so my friends cannot confirm to me already because of they also need to give notice to the house owner that they rent now. I am sorry to some of them because they already give notice to their owner and now they need to find another place to rent.

Then I also don expect the lawyer fee is so expensive. Since what I buy is completed and second hand house, then I need to pay the SnP fee. What I mean is if I buy an uncompleted house, there may be have a chance that developer will pay the SnP to the buyer. But I am not.

Then the furniture, I always think that I buy a house with empty/little furniture is ok. But now I just know that little furniture already can cost you a lot. First, At least I need to have a bed, bed is important for human. Is the main furniture to let u rest, sleep or enjoy. Usually human will have 1/3 life is spend on bed. So I decide to buy a good bed and may sleep on it on me else’s of life.... So, After I doing research, a bed may cost me rm2000-3000. Then the washing machine, refrigerator.... all needs money. The little furniture may cost me rm10k already...

Really, I will not surprise if 1 day I announce I am bankrupt.

It's complicated...

2007-10-09T11:00:00.001+08:00

It's complicated. I have some argued with one of my close friends this few days. Actually at first is a small thing, he make me need to pay more rm150 or maybe less to credit card. That time I am really angry because I am short of money with other duty. So I am mad about it and I do not talk to him for about 3 days. Although at the end we look like become friend again, sometimes I feel he still keep that in mind. I believe I already act apologize to him but he look like do not care about it. This make me also become mad because of his attitude now. It is obviously he make the fault first but now looks like I am wrong. He never knows it is how hard I go and collect the money to pay the bills. I aware that I maybe act so much in those 3 days but it oledi 2 weeks pass away and he still looks like that. This make me feel very bad, maybe I need to lose this friend.

Keep Fit Plan

2007-10-02T22:00:00.000+08:00

Today I start to keep fit. I try to eat few and go to gym. That’s a hard thing. Usually I take economic rice for lunch. So I take less this afternoon but when I feel hungry at about 3pm. It is a really hard time for me. I never know how I can eat 1 meal per day only last time. Maybe I already old so cannot act like last time… now anxious try to get food. Working so hard but cannot enjoy it…. What for?? And my relish is eating…. Now I am worry about my fit plan oledi… hehe..

lawyer and S&P part II

2007-09-28T17:04:00.001+08:00

Finally I get my lawyer call already, if I don leave a msg, I think ever next year I will not get a call from him. He mention that not his fault to delay my S&P but is the owner’s lawyer do not pass the enough information to him and make the S&P. After end his call, I call the owner and talk about this but the owner claim that they oledi give all the required information to their owner…. Now is the ding-dong thing oledi. my mood turning bad and bad.

If you ask me, I will tell you I believe that owner word more, because even the owner do not give enough information, the lawyer still can give me the draft of S&P to have a view or quotation of S&P. but he don’t. I start disappointed to my lawyer again…

Lawyer and S&P

2007-09-27T13:03:00.000+08:00

I just call my lawyer and ask about my house S&P contract. Actually I find him for about 1 week oledi. But his office people always tell me that he is on a meeting, go to court, go out for meeting, on the phone or what. This make my mood turning bad. It already 3 weeks I send the deposit and the required document to this lawyer firm but no news until now. I heard people say that only need 2 weeks to finish it but now oledi 3 weeks and I don even get a draft to view it. Actually last time I want to employ another lawyer (my friend) for doing it but at the end I choose this lawyer because it is agent introduce. I believe the agent got take benefit from lawyer but that time I think because that agent already sell so much house, the lawyer should be ok. Finally I get a bad lawyer….

House.....

2007-09-18T09:21:00.000+08:00

This few days I feel very easy to lost my temper. It all about I brought a house. I never know brought a house need so many operations to do, so much money to spend. When you buy a house that status rm250k, please do not think about you just need to pay rm250k. You still need to pay a big amount to your lawyer, stamp duty or other fees for doing sales and purchasing of house. Then you need to do loan, when you do loan, you also need to pay again to the lawyer, stamp duty and other fees about doing loan. This cost me about rm10k+. rm10k+ just for doing the operation. It’s real meaning just is let you get the key from the house owner only. so now I am in a bad mood. Please do not make me angry again…

Master Convo

2007-09-07T11:06:00.000+08:00

Finally I will go for my master convo tml. Hehe. That’s mean I can really claim myself as a master already. My parent arrived KL and will attend my convo tml. Look like everything will go smooth…just I try to take leave but finally no because of attend company’s training…

I love Malaysia, I love my company!

2007-08-28T11:05:00.000+08:00

Today morning just receive a mail from my company management level. It announce that my office will let all the staff back at 4pm on Thursday, 30/8/2007 to avoid Jam in KL and celebration of national day. Fu-yoh!!!! I love Malaysia, I love my company!

SAPB1 Training

2007-08-27T11:06:00.000+08:00

I just need to attend an internal training that given by my company SAPB1 team. Actually before I join my current company, I never know about SAP. After asking a lot of people opinion, I just know understanding and doing SAP will have a brightness future. Hehe. Thank God about that. Although all is new things for me but at least I feel I am in the right track. I feel regret that I waste 2 years time in a small company. Now I feel joining big company is the right track. Hehe. Again, Thank God for let me joining this company, Fu-yooh for my future…

It's 1 month training....

Dota...

2007-08-20T16:31:00.000+08:00

If you are a teenager and love to play games, I believe you got heard about Defense of the Ancient (DotA) la. It is one favorite game that I really like and I play it start from version 5.84 until now version 6.3x. I remember the most crazy time is the time that I study MBA. Morning I need to work and nite I need to attend MBA class. My MBA class end at 10pm and usually, my friends will ask me go for a game. I still remember that life is hard and sweet. Maybe next time I will share with you all about the life but that’s not today point.

Ya, I like to play dota and I oso got ‘kaki’ to play it. So today, my friends suggest that we use the heroes that suite with the appearance of ourselves to play. It is a nice idea but I don really like to apply it because I am a big size guy, so mean I only can choose big size hero and usually big size hero is strength hero. Even not strength hero, it also must be melee attack heroes. This make me very hard to play at beginning because other people may use ‘Zeus’, ‘Venomesor’ or other. Finally, 4 game 4 lost. Because of the limitation, my team is hard to co-operation because each heroes’ skill not suite with other teammates’ skill. This prove that I cannot use the heroes that suite with the appearance of mine to play. I still like to use small-size heroes lo.

Tea...

2007-07-20T11:26:00.000+08:00

hai~ last nite really sleep not well, I believe is the tea make myself cannot sleep. Actually I never face this kind of situation. Of coz, I got heard about people say after drink tea then cannot sleep but I never feel like that. I believe I immune to this side effect. but yesterday, this statement look wrong.

Yesterday, just a surprise, I find that my company buys in some tea bag that attracted me. For everyone information, I never go and make tea myself before. Yesterday is my first time. At first, I think that’s easy. Just put the tea bag in a cup and put some hot water in and wait for few minutes then can drink ma. But finally, I am wrong. and make myself make a conclusion is tea also need to add sugar 1.

Since this is my 1st time make tea myself (although just using tea bag), I still feel excited with it. So I drink about 3 cup of tea. This make me know why people say drink tea will make people not sleep well at nite. I will never try to do it again.

Beginning...

2007-05-09T13:37:00.000+08:00

Actually I got heard about "Blog" for long time ago, and I also try to create a blog to
share my feel, my life. But there are a lot of reasons make me until today I really trying
to write somethings. that's all because I just realize that, always willing to do but not
do, consider nothing. I know this theory at early of my life, but until this few days just
want to apply it.
I am poor in English. That's also a reason make me don want to start my blog. Who want to
see a blog that full of Grammar mistake, spelling mistake or broken English? I always hope
that I can write my blog in Chinese. I am not chinese educated, but I learn chinese before
and I love to read chinese novel and magnize. I feel chinese word easy to expense my feel
(maybe write in english also can, but since I not good in it. It is very hard for me).
Actually I not don try to start write something in Chinese, but i am poor in writing
Chinese words. I just know how to read but hard for me to write. At the end, when I write
few chinese words, I already lost my willing to write or idea.
Just have a feel, When people grow old and old, there is harder to say something I feel to
people. Something that I dislike but I need to say I like it. Things that I feel is false
but I need to say is true. I hate to be like this already. But when I try to say something
that I feel to people, I found that I already cannot find a parther to share my feel, even
my gf. I do have a few best friends. I really want to say I am glad to have them as my best
friends, and I believe if I happen something, they will imediately come and help me. I do
have a glad family. I know my family love me much. But, there still something that I cannot
share with them. Sometimes I may have some evil, or crazy thinking. I know there are crazy
or evil, and I know I will not really go for it. Maybe I can share with my best friends,
but the also need timing. Finally, I choose to write it down. write is personnal work. No
need timing, no need care about other people feel......